Parents will often say in sessions that they want to be present for their children, “really be there”, available and connected. Mothers and fathers alike talk about the importance of quality time and how they wish they had had more attention from their parents growing up. And yet the reality for most families is a far cry from these valued ideals. Most parents will spend most of their time together.
Lucy is a dedicated mother to her two young children and wants to parent in a loving and peaceful way. She hugs her upset boys and waits patiently for tantrums to subside. But when her older son screams (for what feels like forever) not wanting to go to bed, she ends up yelling and threatening him. Afterwards Lucy beats herself up, feeling very guilty and her distraught little boy sobs into his pillow. Sound familiar?
Motherhood is challenging for most of us – and yet it can be difficult to believe that when you browse through Facebook or Instagram and all you see are the smiling entries from your mummy friends: the happy looking selfies, the professional-looking pics of home-baked kale crisps, the latest art project by little Joseph that looks like it should be hanging in a gallery. Silvia Wetherell is a counsellor with More Mindful, and Co-Founder of Mindful Mums and the MumRadar App, and she knows it...
Kate Middleton's reported struggle with postnatal depression has dampened her plans to have another baby with husband William, according to the media. Whether or not that's true, this is an important topic that deserves attention: how does a mother who suffered from postnatal depression (PND) decide on whether or not to have another child? Suppose you suffered through a dark postnatal period and have managed to recover through family support, good friendships, counselling, medication or...
This is a handout given to the mums at the end of a support group meetup. We had done a brief exercise where mums were asked to believe a certain statement: "This person has something very important to teach me", "this person could hurt me in some way", and "this person likes me". After the feedback we discussed the following: As you have all had different responses with each belief despite staying with the same partner, you can see how the reality you created each time was a function of your...
Being a parent can feel like such a hard job sometimes, especially when energy and patience are in short supply and we feel pushed to our limits. When that happens we might in engage in behaviours which are at odds with what we want be like as parents - perhaps we shout or scold our children for example. So what is going on inside that at times we are taken by surprise by our (over)reactions?
What are the symptoms of postnatal depression? How do I know if I have it? The general symptoms of postnatal depression are quite similar to normal depression and will vary for each woman. Some mothers may experience severe sadness or emptiness while others might feel numb; there could be a belief around being a failure as a mother; some women might worry excessively about their baby while others might show a lack of interest.
Most of us ask ourselves this question from time to time with uncertainty in our hearts and unclarity in our minds regardless of what God we believe in (if any), philosophical inclination or whatever answer we have managed to cobble together through the experiences in our life. Please carry on reading, I promise I’m not going to start philosophising or even attempt to answer this very meaningful and important question. I would just like to look at the question itself in a different way.
I sometimes find myself having quite exhausting conversations with someone who is critical, judgemental, has extremely high standards and is not very forgiving. This person is not my boss, my mother or even my well intentioned mother in law...it is me. This critical part of my personality berates me whenever I fall below certain parenting “standards”. Sometimes the inner chatter goes something like this: “My house is such a mess, how does my friend manage to have a spotless place? I am...
This article was published by the National Childbirth Trust Newsletter: One of my favourite psychotherapists, Roberto Assagioli, used various techniques to discourage his patients from being too caught up or identified with emotions and thoughts. The idea is that by stepping back from our own personal experience we can prevent much psychological and emotional unease. Imagine for a moment that the pages of this newsletter are your thoughts and feelings. Now raise the newsletter slowly towards...